Category: Executive Leadership Coaching

Leadership inefficiencies can manifest in various ways, and some of the most detrimental are rooted in negative emotional and behavioural patterns. These inefficiencies—shame, blame, leniency, defence, excuses, and exoneration—can undermine trust, hinder productivity, and create a toxic work environment. Understanding these patterns and their impact is essential for leaders who want to cultivate a positive and effective organisational culture. Here’s a breakdown of each inefficiency, along with examples to illustrate their effects:

1. Shame

Explanation: Shame as a leadership inefficiency occurs when leaders use shame as a tool to motivate or correct employees. This approach can lead to feelings of inadequacy and fear among team members, which ultimately diminishes their confidence and willingness to take risks.

Example: A leader publicly criticises an employee during a team meeting for missing a deadline, saying, “I’m disappointed in you; this is not the level of performance we expect.” Instead of addressing the issue privately and constructively, the leader’s approach shames the employee in front of their peers. As a result, the employee feels humiliated, their morale drops, and they become hesitant to take on new challenges, fearing further public embarrassment.

Do you ‘beat yourself up’ when things don’t work out the way you planned as a leader?

There are 6 ways a leader can be less efficient / less effective when it comes to leading themselves and others, having a net negative effect (the others being Blame, Leniency, Excuses, Exoneration and Defence).

Understanding your behaviours under stress is an important development step for a leader.

Shame is one of the most personally harmful. Brené Brown speaks on shame extensively in her books and Ted talks – I see it practically with leaders that have an over-developed sense of responsibility and when actions / tasks don’t meet expectations. They blame themselves – are hard on themselves – and stay stuck in their blame rather than moving forward.

For many, this feels like taking Responsibility for their actions, when in fact they are only owning the mistake – they are not moving forward and taking action on what can be done to address it.
Shame can be difficult to address – because others seeing it and pointing it out can make leaders feel even worse and ‘spiral’ further. But it can be addressed, by the leader as well as by peers and teams members, treading carefully but empathetically to move to responsibility and first actions.Is shame one of your default behaviours when you are tired, stressed and under the pump? There is something you can do about it.

2. Blame

Explanation: Blame occurs when leaders shift responsibility for failures or mistakes onto others, rather than taking accountability or addressing the root causes. This behaviour creates a culture of fear and finger-pointing, where employees are more focused on avoiding blame than on solving problems.

Example: After a project fails to meet its objectives, a leader blames the team for not working hard enough, saying, “This failure is on you; if you had put in more effort, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” Instead of analysing what went wrong and how to improve, the leader deflects responsibility, causing resentment and eroding trust within the team.

Does blame tarnish your leadership ability? Do you work (or have you worked) for a ‘blamer’?
Few behaviours look as bad for a leader or manager as blame. It can be detrimental to the team, and to our own credibility – yet for many, it can be a default behaviour under pressure and stress.

Blame is one of the 6 leadership inefficiencies of the AIR/ BLEEDS model that leaders can display when they are not at their best.

Why discuss this? Because awareness of your default behaviours under pressure and stress result in you being less likely to spend time there! Sharing your defaults with your team also mean they are less likely to hold these behaviours against you, or have permission to ‘check in’ with you to assist in getting you back to a more positive, efficient and effective state of mind.
Discussing default behaviours with your team can be a very powerful to establish and build trust – but it takes some knowledge and a degree of vulnerability – you are sharing some of your less desirable behaviours. But it is done to create a positive outcome.

To be effective, accountable and responsible leaders, it is worth look at our behaviours – both good and bad – particularly when under pressure and stress. Our behaviours impact us, our team and our business – they are an incredibly important aspect of leading others.

3. Leniency

Explanation: Leniency is the tendency to avoid holding employees accountable for their actions or performance, often to maintain harmony or avoid conflict. While leniency might seem compassionate, it can lead to a lack of discipline, inconsistent performance, and a perception of favouritism

Lenient leaders ‘let people off the hook’ for their performance – in the hope that not saying something will make it easier on them, and / or easier on the person. What can seem like an act of kindness or generosity can just mask what could be a bigger problem

Example: A leader consistently overlooks one team member’s poor performance because they have been with the company for a long time. The leader thinks, “I don’t want to upset them; they’ve been loyal.” However, this leniency causes frustration among other team members who are working hard and meeting expectations. Over time, the lack of accountability leads to a decline in overall team performance and morale.

• ‘It was only a little bit late’
• ‘I am sure it will be better next time’
• ‘I am sure they tried their best’
• ‘They are really busy at the moment, I’ll do it myself’
• ‘There is a lot going on at the moment – cut them some slack’
• ‘With work, kids and pandemic – they probably just missed it’

Leniency isn’t empathy – empathy is a genuine understanding of what someone else is going through and being able to relate / adjust accordingly. Leniency is often about making an assumption, and hoping that it will fix itself

Lenient leaders face 3️⃣ key problems that impact their leadership and the team culture:

1️⃣ They end up having to do more work themselves
2️⃣ They undermine the standards fo the team and reduce ‘the bar’ overall
3️⃣ Over time they get resentful and seek to blame others for issues that have stemmed from their own leniency.
Overcoming leniency as a leader requires several steps – and it starts by being very clear on expectations and understanding / discussing consequences (both positive and negative) for actions. It isn’t about ‘being hard’ or lacking in empathy – in fact quite the opposite.

Are you a lenient leader? What is your ‘go to’ lenient phrase?

Ensuring that you aren’t being lenient on your team doesn’t mean that you don’t care for them or don’t understand the issues / problems / challenges they are facing. In fact, it can demonstrate the opposite. Setting and maintaining a clear standard – whether that it is on the accuracy of work or adhering to deadlines, raises the standard of you and your team. That may take coaching and further training to ensure that it is maintained, and that is also part of being a leader.

4. Defence

Explanation: Defence as a leadership inefficiency occurs when leaders react defensively to feedback or criticism. Instead of being open to suggestions and improvements, defensive leaders feel attacked and respond by justifying their actions or dismissing the feedback.

Example: When a team member suggests a different approach to a project, the leader immediately responds, “I’ve been doing this for years; I know what works. We don’t need to change anything.” By being defensive, the leader shuts down constructive dialogue, discourages innovation, and prevents potential improvements that could benefit the organisation.

Question: Can you admit when you are a wrong? Put another way – are you a defensive leader?

Alternative: Do you work with someone who never (ever) admits that they are wrong? Instead of recognising a mistake or acknowledging an error, they ‘double down’, and try to convince you that they were right?

This is Defence – ‘digging in’ on a position or opinion when you should shift or change due to new information or circumstances.

Honestly, of all of the inefficient and ineffective behaviours that the BLEEDS part of the AIR / BLEEDS model discusses, I find leaders that use Defence as a default one of the hardest groups of people to work with.

At its lightest, Defence can be never admitting that you are wrong. When under stress and pressure, Defence can be more obstinate ie ‘I don’t accept the premise of your question’ being a recent statement that fits Defence perfectly.

In a team sense, ‘leaping to someone’s defence’ can be seen a good thing, but can create difficulty if the person does this without looking at the behaviour they are agreeing with first.

In my experience, this behaviour is seen less in junior or emerging leaders – it is often challenged by people in authority and questioned. It is prevalent in senior leaders who are not used to (or don’t like) their position or ideas to be challenged.

Defence is just one of the 6 BLEEDS behaviours that can result in ineffective or inefficient behaviour

5. Excuses

Explanation: Leaders who frequently make excuses for themselves or their team’s performance fail to take responsibility for shortcomings. This behaviour can lead to a culture where accountability is lacking, and employees feel that there are always justifications for not meeting goals.

Example: After missing a key deadline, a leader tells the team, “We didn’t have enough resources, and the timeline was unrealistic; it’s not our fault.” While there may be valid challenges, continually making excuses rather than finding solutions or learning from the experience prevents growth and improvement. The team may begin to adopt a similar mindset, leading to ongoing underperformance.

Are you an excuse maker? Is your leadership hampered by the excuses you make?

Do you have an excuse maker in your team?Are you told supposedly ‘legitimate reasons’ for things not getting done, but they just sound like excuses? ? Do you challenge them? Or do you hear them and look like you accept them – only to be annoyed that you ‘swallowed’ the excuse later? ?

Excuses are the bane of my existence. Not just the ones that I hear others say to cover for work / expectations that hadn’t been completed, but because of the excuses that I hear in my own head – the ones that I tell myself for work not being completed how / when I wanted it done.

Excuses are one of several ways in which teams / leaders underperform against the AIR / BLEEDS model – the others being Blame, Leniency, Exoneration, Defence and Shame.

Excuses can have a 3 fold negative effect on your team and business:

1️⃣ You lower your standards – particularly if you ‘accept’ your own excuses.
2️⃣ You lower the standards of your team. Accepting non-legitimate reasons for incomplete / lower standard / late work
3️⃣ You allow further excuses to breed. Having accepted an excuse once, you set yourself up to have to accept the same excuse again – or from others (setting a precedent).

Several leaders I have known have been told they were inconsistent (myself included) – not through intention – but by having to correct for excuses that were used too often / taken too far. While I / we may have seen that a ‘boundary’ had been crossed – the rest of the team just saw behaviour being accepted, followed by very similar behaviour not being accepted – inconsistency.

How do you get past excuses / deal with excuses in your workplace?

1️⃣ The first step to is acknowledge them for what they are – in your behaviour and in others – and you might be first place to start.
2️⃣ Make clear – to yourself and your team – the standards that you will accept and the standards you won’t.
3️⃣ Understand that ‘the standard you walk past is the standard you accept’. Excuses are often used because they are often accepted – many leaders are unwilling to challenge excuses – they hear them and rather than saying something, walk away and get annoyed about it later.

6. Exoneration

Explanation: Exoneration occurs when leaders absolve themselves or others of responsibility for failures or mistakes, often to protect their reputation or avoid difficult decisions. This inefficiency can create a culture where accountability is absent, and employees do not feel responsible for their actions.

Example: A leader is aware that a department’s poor performance is due to a lack of clear direction from management, but instead of addressing the issue, they say, “It’s not my fault; the market conditions were against us.” By exonerating themselves from blame, the leader avoids addressing the real issues, leaving the underlying problems unresolved and allowing the cycle of failure to continue.

They say that ‘the standard you walk past is the standard you accept’. The principle that follows is that you shouldn’t walk past a poor standard (in your business, your team, your life) – you should take responsibility for it and do something about it.

What is Exoneration in the AIR / BLEEDS model? It is exactly the opposite. It is becoming aware of behaviour or task that isn’t at the correct AND walking right past it, behaving as if the behaviour didn’t happen. This isn’t a case of not seeing it or having your head ‘buried in the sand’, it is choosing to ignore the behaviour and letting it go.
Exoneration is more prevalent than you think in business and life.

You don’t have to look very far in either State or Federal politics to see exoneration at work.
Someone is known to have committed a crime, a rort, an improper behaviour – and there are no actions against the behaviour and there are little consequences. The person doing it takes no responsibility, and the leader / boss does not hold them to account – and the improper behaviour continues because it has been tacitly approved. Exoneration is hope that the behaviour will be ignored and others will forget about it.

Exoneration can have a huge negative impact on a business – just as much as the other BLEEDS components of Blame, Excuses, Leniency or Defence. When a standard is walked past by a leader – you tell every other person in the organisation that it is OK.

Why do people exonerate others for poor behaviour? In my humble opinion, it is often down to fear. Fear of consequences, fear of a difficult conversation, fear of being seen as ‘management’, fear of not being liked and probably most often – fear of being ‘called out’ for exactly the same behaviour.
What can you do if you thin you might be exonerating others rather than holding to account?

1️⃣ Get very clear on what standard you want to uphold in your organisation / business. State very clearly what they are, and why they are important to you.

2️⃣. Hold yourself to those standards – and be very clear and upfront if you miss them. One of the key reasons people exonerate others is because they find themselves wanting in the same area and don’t want to be seen as a hypocrite – so they let both people (themselves and the other) off.

3️⃣ Be clear on the consequences of actions in advance.

I Can Relate To At Least 2 Of These Behaviours!

Then welcome to being human! Shame, blame, leniency, defence, excuses, and exoneration are all leadership inefficiencies that can have detrimental effects on an organisation. They are also perfectly human emotions – they can also have a negative impact on how we are seen as leaders. These behaviours undermine trust, stifle innovation, and create a toxic work environment where employees are either too fearful or too disengaged to perform at their best. Effective leaders must recognise these inefficiencies in themselves and others, and actively work to foster a culture of accountability, openness, and continuous improvement. By doing so, they can build a more resilient, motivated, and high-performing team.

If you identify yourself with any of these inefficiencies, you can work through them as core content on several of our programs, including the Emerging Leaders Program, the Leadership Essentials Program and Executive Leadership Coaching.